A few months ago (January 19th, 2005) I had my Annual Physical Check Up. Everything seemed to be fairly good for a man my age. However Dr. Michael Saunders suggested that he thought I should be taking a thyroid pill a day.
Eighty five plus years ago on May 31st, 1919 I was born to Susan Sherwood Weber and Herman Weber in my Grandmother and Grandfather (William and Ella Sherwood) home where my parents had been married on March 12th, 1918. My Dad was working for my Grandparents at the time. My Grandmother Sherwood died of Cancer in 1925. I do not remember my Grandmother Sherwood to well I do remember of her being bed ridden, I was only six years old at the time and really did not understand what had taken place other than she was no longer with us. However it was not a great emotional event in my life. When Grandpa Sherwood died of a Heart Attack in 1929 I was ten years old. I was outside playing when my mother came to the door and called me and told me to go to the barn quickly as something had happened to Grandpa. He had died in the kitchen while shaving. I think that this was perhaps the beginning of what death meant. For although he was a loving grandfather, there was not the strong bond that developed between my parents and us children. I cannot remember if I attended the funeral or not but imagine I did. Looking back, Grandpa death did not leave a great emotional impact on me either. Other than he was no longer with us but life went on in much the same way. I never really knew my Grandparents on my Dads side. I remember Grandpa Philip Weber, as a fairly heavy set old man with a cane. He died when he was about 93 years old. I do not remember my Grandmother Weber at all. So up until I was an adult I had very little contact with what death was all about. Sure people died but they were friends or relatives of the family and except for relatives we hardly ever attended funerals of our parents friends.
When you are young death is not really a part of your, daily thoughts and is usually brought to you attention by reading about it or knowing someone close to you who dies. The first death of any one close to my was when Collins Liersch died in a crash of a Military airplane accident back in the spring of 1945, on the Isle of Mann, in the Irish Sea, when he and a number of his friend where on their way to Rest & Relaxation. Collins was the son of Hattie and Alvin Liersch and was a Bomber Pilot in the European Theater of World War 2. I was stationed at the Smoke Jumpers Camp at Montana at the time and really did not hear about it until some time after the accident. It was during the war and the Military were somewhat secret on what really happened. So again this really did not leave any real deep emotion other than we had talked about going to war when I had taken the Conscientious Objectors position back in 1941. Last year we went over to Europe and I went out to the site there on the Isle of Mann where Collins was killed and it was then that I perhaps felt the loss more than at any time until then.
My Dad died in 1952, of a heart attack while milking. He and Mother had been up to visit us that Sunday afternoon and had supper with us and then Thema and I took them home and we went over to Thema’s parents place to see them for a little while before going to a youth meeting that was being held at the Federated Church in Kendall. When we got a call from my Mother that Dad had fallen while putting the milkers on one of the cows and she needed our help. I hurried right over, it was only about two miles. She had also called my brother Carl who lived up the road from my parents house and he was already there . They had gotten Dad out from between the cows and were trying to revive him. In the meantime Mother had called the Doctor and in those days doctors came to the homes. There were no ambulances in our area. Carl & I did what we could but it was too late. This was the first death that really made me realize what the loss of a loved one was like. I remember when they closed the casket and I saw my Dad for the last time some fifty two years ago that was one of the most devastating time of my life up until that time. Looking back I remember my Dad saying at breakfast one morning he dreamed that he had died. At the time I did not think a lot about it but wished I had asked him more questions about the dream. For some the closer I get to that time in my life the more I wonder what “Death” really is all about. Some years later Alvin Liersch, the father of Collins Liersch died. Again death and the why thereof was becoming more and more of a question in my mind. Since then Hattie Liersch has died, my sister Mary, my brother Bob and many dear friends and realatives. It seem this past two years it is a continous attending of funerals.
So when the doctor suggested I take thyroid pills and handed me a pamphlet on: How to Complete This Power of Attorney for Health Care which is also a combination of a Living Will. I really got to thinking. Bill, the final curtain is really is not far away. So this memo to all my children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren is the beginning of a process that I hope lasts for many years but could end tomorrow. Since I have received this pamphlet two things have happened to me that makes me realize how close it may be. About the 1st of March on returning from my usual 2 mile walk I stopped to look down the valley, and as I was standing there it looked like the limbs on a tree about 500 feet in front of me where swaying as in a strong wind. I wondered what was going on as I stood there looking at the tree the limbs seemed to form into arms and legs and the bodies of two men with a couple of the limbs seeming to look like the two men had their arms around each other. I did not seem to recognize the men but the stood there for a while and then slowly disappeared. They had on leather like jackets with winter hats and reminded me a bit of early farmers of this area or of early America. This was the first time I have ever experience what now seems to me like an hallucination which I can not at this moment explain. Then a few weeks latter as I started down our outdoor cement on the northwest side of our house, I fell forward, grabbed the railing which keep me from falling face first on cement steps. Ending up with a skinned knee and a few should and hip bruises. but could have been fatal More on this later as we will be pursuing and adding to this from this date forward.
July 1st, 2005 It has been some time since I have returned to this page and in that time I have experienced a greater shortness of breath in my activities, I have been unable use the troy garden tiller, was able to plant a few potatoes, brocoli, beans, onions and tomatoes. Wood chucks got my brocoli and most of my beans. Your mother bought a new mower but after a few days use I figured it was more than I wanted to do in fact one day I was mowing and got a bit exhausted so I sat down to rest and blacked out. It was a short black out as I was still sitting when I came to but at the time of the black out my first thought was that this was the Final Curtain and that Sue had said I should not keep on trying to mow the lawn and even at point in time I could hear her saying, as you all were gathered around the burial site “I said to Dad” Yet there was no great fear. A feeling of joy when I came too but also a feeling of how close it had been and how I would have missed being with you. Even thought you might also miss me.
I have had a number of close calls in my life. I nearly drowned in Lake Tahoe one afternoon when a bunch of us fellows were cooling off in the water. I slipped off a boulder went down, came up but not far enough o holler for help, went down again and came back up far enough to be able to see the beautiful blues , the trees and everything looked so beautiful. Again I felt at that time this was it. Yet there was no fear, just a feeling of lovely quietness. The next thing I remember was lying on the beach, someone had pulled me out and I had survived. Another near death experience also occurred in that same area. Our crew of Conscientious Objectors who were stationed at Carson City, Nevada at one of the branch camps of the Coleville CPS (Civilian Public Service) Forestry Near the Nevada/California border were taking down an old telephone line after we had build a new line for the forest service fire look out towers for that area. It was getting toward quitting time and two of us were out in front of the rest of the crew using the telephone lines to snap off the partially rotten poles they were attached to. Those that followed would then take of the insulators and wind up the wire. Since most of the pole broke off fairly easily each of us would take every other pole. But this time I got a tough old pole that did not want to break off so I gave it a couple of hard jerks which unknown to me was enough to swing up and hit the electric power line knocking me to the ground. When I regained consciences the setting sun on the clouds in the sky were had caused them to be bright red and the smell of burned flesh of my hands and leather glove made me think I had ended up in hell. At that time I still believed that hell was a fiery place in the center of the earth. Must admit it was not the most pleasant thought but then again what was was. Standing by me when I came to was John Ainsworth, one of the crew. They got me in one of the jeeps we had and back down to the doctors in Carson City. The doctor could not believe that I had taken that kind of electric shock and still lived. The current had somehow bi-passed the heart and came out at the ankle joint on my right leg. My hands were badly burned and there are still scares showing the wire burns to this day over sixty some years later.
Yes Dear family that day is approaching and faster than I like to think. You are all so wonderful and I Love You All So Much. I like living on this planet. I like all the great and wonderful times we have and hope will continue to spend together for some time yet. But I know that my age group is rapidly leaving and that I will not be spared many more years. So what I am going to do is to try and make this a sort of daily page and posted on Geo-Cities for now so that it will be available for each and everyone of you to read when ever you wish. Will write more later. Your Husband, Dad, Grandpa and Great Grandpa